These are quotes from the characters played by Jason Isaacs in his films/tv appearances. It's not every line he says, just the ones I think are noteworthy. Try doing a whole conversation with someone in just JI quotes. It's a blast. Really. "No, I'm serious." "It'll be a riot." "Trust me. It's worth it." "Come on. What are you waitin' for?" Warning: Lots of obscenity below If you want to know more about these movies, check The Jason Isaacs Movie Review Page. - Diane Feedback appreciated. Write to diane@portraitplanet.com.

Zachary Blaine (Highlander)

• "I want MacLeod's quickening."
• "Another time."
• "You haven't changed a bit." <tsk, tsk, tsk sound> "Finders' keepers." <laughter> "You've become a creature of habit."
• <Amanda> "You escaped." <Zachary> "Yes. You know, it wasn't easy getting out of a maximum security prison, even for me. I had to play crazy. Outside the walls. After that <pbbttt sound> but you know what I missed most? Was the feeling of a good, old fashioned quickening. <Amanda> "Wait!" <Zachary> No, after what you did to me, you can't come up with a reason good enough." <Amanda> "I can give you ten million reasons, in American dollars." <Zachary> "Funny, you'd think that would be enough." <Amanda> "I can give you the head of Duncan MacLeod."
• <Shopkeeper> "May I help you, Monsieur?" <Zachary> "I bought a sword in here, some, ah, some time ago. Unfortunately it was lost. It was forged in Toledo, a Damascus blade, an Austrian sabre. <shopkeeper> "I remember selling just such a sword. Marvelous. Before your time. Perhaps you are thinking of one of our very fine copies." <hands him a sword> "That is indistinguishable in appearance from the one you lost." <Zachary> "It may look the same, but it doen't _feel_ the same. I don't want this for show, I need a blade that can stand up to the finest steel ever made. Do you understand me?" <shopkeeper> "Of course, of course. You're a purist. I do have one original, made in Toledo, of Damascus steel." <Zachary> "Get it. Please." <Zachary tries the weight of the sword and breathes on the blade - crikey> "Yes." <shopkeeper> "There was a man in here 30 years ago who handled a sword justs like you. You resemble him." <Zachary> "Really? I'll take it." <shopkeeper> "Monsieur, must be aware, that such a sword, it costs 40,000 francs." <Zachary> "I'm not sure I have quite that much on me." <shopkeeper> "We do take credit cards." <Zachary> "Ah." <stabs shopkeeper with the sword> "I won't leave home without it."
• <Duncan> "I'm Duncan MacLeod, of the clan, MacLeod. I don't think we've had the pleasure." <Zachary> "I know who you are. We'll meet again . . . Highlander."
• <Amanda> "You're hurting me." <Zachary> "Good. I should do more than that. What kind of game are you playing? MacLeod almost took my head." <Amanda> "It's your own fault. If you would have come an hour later, he would have been drugged and unconscious. Now he knows you're around, it's going to be that much harder." <Zachary> "I told you before - I have his head - or yours."
• "How the hell you gonna fence a thing like that?"
• "Don't be funny. You tend to fall behind in prison."
• <Zachary> "I should have known this was a set-up. <Amanda> "What?" <Zachary> "I help you steal the book, MacLeod takes my head, and the two of you live happily ever after."
• <Amanda> "OK, Zac, old pal. If that's the way you want it. Let's get this over with, once and for all. <Amanda pulls out her sword, Zachary pulls out a gun - a big no-no in the Immortal rulebook - apparently he 'hates the rules.'> <Zachary> "I was saving this for MacLeod, to slow him down, but as they say, 'all's fair in love and . . ." <Zac's Spidey-sense kicks in>
• <Duncan> "Tsk, tsk, tsk." <Zachary> "Why try and save her MacLeod? She's betrayed you before." <Duncan> "At least I'm smart enough to stay out of jail."

---

Felton Quotes (Dragonheart)

• "I should've known."
• "Foreign riff-raff. Well, begone vagabond. Before I arrest you."
• "Back to work, you scum."
• "I'm just saying that any one of us is worth a hundred of them."

Quote from the King about Felton:

• "Brave Felton - an army unto himself."

D.J. (Event Horizon)

• "When the ion drive fires, you'll be taking about 30 Gs. Without a tank, the force would liquefy your skeleton."
• "Claustrophobic?"
• "Okay, take that. Don't rush it."
• "You've been in stasis for 56 days, you're gonna experience a little disorientation, y'understand?"
• <"That gloomy gus in the corner over there, that's D.J.-"> "Trauma." <laughing>
• "Latin. Sounds like Latin." <Lawrence Fishburne: "Can you translate it?"> "Play it again." "Sounds like, 'Liberate me.' something, I dunno, I cant make out the rest." <LF: "Liberate me?"> "Save me."
• "Decompression doesn't do that. Looks like it was caused by, I don't know, an animal or something. Look at the damage to the soft tissue, the massive abrasions."
• "His vital signs seem stable, but he's unresponsive to stimuli. I don't know. He might wake up in 15 minutes. He might not wake up at all."
• "It's a power drain."
• "Carbon dioxide can produce hallucinations, impair judgment."
• "You're fucking sick, alright? It's just a ship, do you understand? It's just a big hunk of metal. There's nothing odd going on."
• "If he opens the airlock he's gonna turn inside out."
• "I think I made a mistake in the translation. [plays tape again] There. It's not 'Liberate me,' it's 'Liberate tu te me.' Save yourself. And it gets worse. I think, that says 'ex inferes.' 'Liberate tu te me ex inferes.' Save yourself <pause> from__hell."
• "'Liberate tetemet ex inferis.' Save yourself from hell."
• "This ship has been beyond the boundaries of our universe, of known scientific reality. Who knows where its been, what it's seen, and what it's brought back with it?"
• "Whoever sent that message, he sure believes in hell."
• "Don't you worry about Wier [picks up huge ass surgical tool]. I'll take care of him.
• "gurgle, gurgle, argghhhh." <--- ok, he really didn't say this - Diane

Dr. Ronald Quincy (Armageddon)

• "Terrible idea."
• "If you consider your target -- her composition, her dimensions, her sheer velocity -- you could fire every nuke you've got at her and
  she'd just smile at you and keep on coming."
• "I know the President's Chief Scientific Advisor. We were at MIT together, and in a situation like this, you really don't want to take
  the advice of a man who got a C- in astrophysics."
• "The President's advisors are . . . um, wrong. I'm right."
• "Imagine a firecracker in the palm of your hand. Set it off, what happens? You burn your hand, right? You close your fist around the
  same firecracker and set it off... pff. Your wife's going to be opening your ketchup bottles for the rest of your life."
• "That's exactly what I'm saying."
• "Well, pretty much, yeah."
• "What he's trying to say gentlemen is that in 12 minutes' time you may lose the ability to detonate the nuke. Permanently."
• "They seem to have had a blowout."
• "It's not over till we get the bomb down that hole."
• "They're about to cross the threshold."

Col. William Tavington (The Patriot)

• "Fire the house and barns. Let it be known that if you harbor the enemy you will lose your home."
• "Then you're freedmen who will have the opportunity and the privilege of fighting in the king's army, aren't you?"
• "Hang him, put his body on display."
• "Well, we're not going to hold him. We're going to hang him."
• "Would you like a lesson, sir, in the rules of war?"
• "Stupid boy."
• "I dare to presume my own meager contributions will be rewarded one day."
• "Is it not enough, my lord, that I have never lost a battle?"
• "My late father squandered any esteem in which we were held, along with my inheritance."
• "I advance myself only through victory."
• "I don't know, my lord. It's really quite nice."
• "This is madness."
• "Has he not?"
• "You know, it's an ugly business, doing one's duty. But just occasionally, it's a real pleasure."
• "Why wait?"
• "Quite impressive for a farmer with a pitchfork, wouldn't you say?"
• "I can capture him. But to do so requires the use of tactics that are somewhat . . . what was the word your lordship used? 'Brutal,' I think."
• "I am prepared to do what is necessary."
• "What, I wonder, is to become of me?"
• "Tell me about . . . Ohio."
• <In response to 'But you said we'd be forgiven!'> "And indeed you may! That is between you and god."
• "The town? Burn the church."
• "The honor is found in the end, not the means. This will be forgotten."
• "Kill me before the war is over, will you? It appears you are not the better man."

And from the deleted scenes:

• "Beautiful country. Everything grows here."
• "I wonder how patriotic you'd be if I offered you the chance to walk out of here alive."
• <In response to 'Do your worst.'> "I always do."
• "My efforts, in no small measure, brought you here."

---

Ranger Captain Mike Steele (Black Hawk Down)

• "What is this, Sargeant? Another taxpayer-funded Delta safari?"
• "You Delta boys are a bunch of undisciplined cowboys. Let me tell you something, Sargeant - when we get on the
  5-yard line, you're gonna need my Rangers. So y'all better learn to be team players. We're done here."
• "Pretty funny, h'yup?"
• "You understand why we have a chain of command, don't you? Because if I ever see you undermine me again, you'll
  be cleaning latrines with your tongue, til you can't taste the difference between shit and french fries. Are we clear?"
• "We're movin' just as fast as we can. You let me do my job and you do yours."
• "What the fuck are you doing out there?"
• "Don't you ever give me orders, Sargeant. We are combat ineffective, you understand me?"
• "I need you to suck it up, Sargeant. I need you to focus for me, alright? Can you do that?"
• "If anybody comes through that door, you give 'em two in the chest and one in the head. Understand?"
• "I thought I heard a noise out here."
• <When the dying Sargeant asks him if they're going out again> "You bet your ass we will. We gotta regroup."

---

Clark Devlin (The Tuxedo)

• "I'm not a professional driver, but I'd always believed that that thing you're staring into is for the monitoring of traffic, not passengers. Am I wrong?"
• "While I'm really enjoying our time together, shall we try moving?"
• "You're the head of an intelligence agency. Why don't you be intelligent?"
• "Well, why don't you call me back when you do understand what I'm talking about."
• "Did you get a copy of the rules?"
• "I hate the rules."
• "I would so love to have you."
• "Admirable."
• "No, just stay smooth. Remember, smooth."
• "Two whoppers, hold the onion, extra ketchup, toast the bottom bun only, medium well-done. Two large fries, extra well-done. Two
  chocolate milkshakes, however the chef likes."
• "It's a drive through. Let's drive."
• "Yeah, all in a day's work, eh?"
• "All right ladies and gentlemen, it's show time."
• "How's our package?"
• "I do believe I'm in charge of this operation."
• "I hate to say this, but don't take advice from women about women."
• "No, you never tell them you love them."
• "I wrote the book on this stuff. Trust me, you didn't blow it. You outgrew her."

---

Lucius Malfoy (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

(This is all of his dialogue):

At Flourish and Blotts:

• "Now, now, Draco. Play nicely."
• <Lucius> "Ah, Mr. Potter. Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last. Forgive me . . . your scar is legend. As of course is the wizard who gave it to you." <Harry> "Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer." <Lucius> "Hmmm. You must be very brave to mention his name. Or very foolish." <Hermoine> "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." <Lucius> "And you must be, Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you. And your parents. Muggles, aren't they?"
• <Lucius> "Let me see, red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand book. You must be the _Weasleys_."
• <Lucius> "Well, well, well, Weasley senior." <Arthur> "Lucius." <Lucius> "Busy time at the ministry, Arthur? All those extra raids? I do hope they're paying you overtime. But judging from the state of this, I'd say not. What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard, if they don't even pay you well for it?" <Arthur> "We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy." <Lucius> "Clearly. Associating with muggles. And I thought your family could sink no lower. I'll see you at work."

At Hagrid's house:

• "Already here, Fudge? Good."
• <Hagrid> "What are you doing here! Get out of my house!" <Lucius> "Believe me, I take absolutely no pleasure being inside your . . . you call this a house? No, I simply called at the school and was told the headmaster was here." <Dumbledore> "What exactly is it that you want with me?" <Lucius> "The other governors and I have decided it's time for you to step aside. This is an order of suspension. You'll find all 12 signatures on it. I'm afraid we feel you've rather 'lost your touch.' And what with all these attacks, they'll be no muggleborns left at Hogwarts. I can only imagine what an awful loss that would be to the school." <Hagrid> "You can't take Professor Dumbledore away! Take him away and the muggleborns won't stand a chance. You mark my words, they'll be killings next!" <Lucius> "You think so?" <Dumbledore> "Calm yourself, Hagrid. If the governors desire my removal, I will of course step aside. However, you will find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." <Lucius> "Admirable sentiments. Shall we? Fudge."

Dumbledore's Office:

• <Lucius to Dobby> "I'll deal with you later." <Lucius to Harry> "Out of my way, Potter." <Lucius to Dumbledore> "So, it's true. You have returned." <Dumbledore> "When the governors learned that Arthur Weasley's daughter was taken into the chamber, they saw fit to summon me back." <Lucius> "Ridiculous." <Dumbledore> "Curiously, Lucius, several of them were under the impression that you would curse their families if they did not agree to suspend me in the first place." <Lucius> "How dare you. My sole concern has always been and will always be, the welfare of this school, and of course, its students."
• <Lucius> "The culprit has been identified, I presume?" <Dumbledore> "Oh yes." <Lucius> "And . . . who was it?" <Dumbledore> "Voldemort." <Lucius> "Ah." <Dumbledore> "Only this time he chose to act through somebody else . . . by means of this." <Lucius> "I see." <Dumbledore> "Fortunately, our young Mr. Potter discovered it. One hopes that no more of Lord Voldemort's old school things should find their way into innocent hands. The consequences for the one responsible would be . . . severe." <Lucius> "Well, let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day." <Harry> "Don't worry, I will be."
• <Lucius> "Dumbledore. Come Dobby. We're leaving."
• <Harry> "Mr. Malfoy! Mr. Malfoy! I have something of yours." <Lucius> "Mine? I don't know what you're talking about." <Harry> "Oh, I think you do sir. I think you slipped the diary into Ginny Weasley's cauldron. That day at Diagon Alley." <Lucius> "You do, do you?" <hands book to Dobby> "Why don't you _prove_ it?" <sniff> "Come, Dobby." <Harry whispers> "Open it." <Lucius> "Dobby?" <Dobby> "Master has given Dobby a sock." <Lucius> "What? I didn't gi . . ." <Dobby> "Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!" <Lucius> "You lost me my servant!" <Dobby> "You shall not harm Harry Potter!" <Lucius starts spell, possibly "Avada," part of the unforgivable, and highly illegal, curse of death, "Avada Kadavra," but Dobby blasts him>
• <Lucius> "Your parents were meddlesome fools too. Mark my words, Potter . . . one day soon, you are going to meet the same sticky end."
  

From the deleted scene:

• "Don't touch anything, Draco."
• <snip lots of effusive ass-kissing by Borgin><Lucius>"I'm not buying today, Borgin. I'm selling." <Borgin> "Selling?" <Lucius> "Draco?" <Draco puts a box on the counter> <Lucius> "You are aware no doubt, that the Ministry of Magic is conducting more raids on private houses. There's even rumors of a new Muggle Protection Act." <Borgin> "Pure wizard blood is counting for less everywhere I'm afraid." <Lucius> "Not with me. Anyway, I brought a few items from home that might prove, uh, <quick clearing of the throat> embarrassing were the Ministry to call. Poisons and the like." <Borgin> "Look at that!" <Lucius> "That particular item is not for sale." <Borgin> "I understand. It has unique qualities. One wouldn't want to see it falling into the wrong hands."
• <Lucius> "What did I say?" <Draco> "Touch nothing." <Lucius> "Exactly." <Draco> "Sorry, father." <Lucius> "Come on. We're going."

Chaz (Sweet November)

• "Violence as a tranquilizer. How twisted is that?"
• "You're looking very sexy today."
• "I do believe that is my favorite sweatshirt I see."
• "That's very good. He's very funny."
• "I love you, babe."
• "And get fat like you?"
• "Honestly? It tastes like camel piss."
• "Let's stick to the classics in the future."
• "Very impressive set of pecs you've got there, Nelson."
• "Your pecs on the other hand darling, are just edible."
• "You can't force people to do things they don't want to do."
• "Are you listening to anything I'm telling you?"
• "What's on the menu tonight?"
• "It'll be a riot."
• "Here come 'ere. Give us a cuddle."
• "It may not be according to your master plan, but you can't control everything."
• "If I've learned anything, it's that you should have the people who love you, around you for as long as you possibly can."
• "Uh, is it just me, or has anyone else got a sudden desire for Chinese food?"
• "Thought you'd never get here."

Cherry (Sweet November)

• "Hallelujah!"
• "Ah, it's too late. We sold your dinner to the homeless."
• "Look at you! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."
• "Watch the nails."
• "Stop it. Bitch."
• "Put it back in your pants."
• "You're looking a wee bit peaky."
• "This isn't a dress. This is a sequined sensation!"
• "Excuse me? What did you just say?"
• "Can you dance with your shirt off? Cause that's what happens where we're going."
• "You can talk about me when I'm gone."
• "From concept to execution, it's just sublime."
• "Don't even go there."
• "Omigawd Nelson, just let it gooooo."
• "Cherry doesn't care about things like that."
• "Sweetheart, do you really want to talk about this now?"
• "It's a long story and I am not going to tell it."

Alain St. Ives (St. Ives)

This is all of his dialogue:

• <Alain> "Is there any good reason why you're still here? <prostitute> "I've not been paid yet." <Alain> You've had the instruction of a lifetime. I no doubt, have been thoroughly poxed! Tis you should pay me." <sticking coin down her bodice>
• <playing badminton><Alain to servant> "In or out? In_or_out!?" <servant> "In?" <Alain> "Out! Well get out! Leave the tray." <servant shuffles out sideways> "His mother was a crab you know."
• "What's going on? Is there a fire? God, I hope so. Anything. Anything to rid me of this ennui."
• <Alain> "I don't know you. <Jacques> "It's me, your brother." <Alain> "Don't touch me! My brother's dead. <to grandfather> "I don't know this man."
• "Oh, I understand. Yes, I understand only too well."
• "Ride to Queensferry Jail. Tell them we have an escaped French prisoner in the house."
• "I'll take care of him. The rest of you, get out! Go on, go!"
• "You sir, are an imposter, who has taken advantage of a gullible old man."
• "Go on, kill me. I am nothing to you. Kill me!"
• "Shoot him. Shoot him!"
• "Give me that!"
• "Shut up old man."
• "I want what's mine!"
• "The escaped French prisoner."
• "My grandfather died in his sleep last week. I don't see what business it is of yours."
• "Guard!"
• "Linlithgow!"
• "Good evening, ladies."
• "Ever the optimist, Jacques? I've no need to bargain with you."
• <Jacques> "Why do you hate me so much?" <Alain> "Because you were noble and true. And I betrayed you to save my own skin. You still don't understand do you, Jacques? It was me. I gave the committee all they needed. <Jacques> "You were just a boy, Alain. You didn't know what you were doing. <Alain> "I knew exactly what I was doing."
• <Alain gets stabbed> "Aah!"
• "Brother." <takes Jacques' hand> "Mon Frere, I missed you. I missed you."
• "Urgggggghhhhhhh." <---ok, once again, not really, but damn I get sick of him dying

Cow Pat Keegan (Divorcing Jack)

• "Very nice."
• "The name's, Keegan. Pat Keegan."
• <Starkey> "I thought you were in prison." <Pat> "I was released. Good behavior."
• "Ah, don't go blamin' your friend here for lettin' you down. See, we had a very entertainin' afternoon, didn't we? Playin' Irish roulette."
  <laughter from 'the boys'> <Pat clicks his cigarette lighter three times - it lights> "Oh! You lose again." <more laughter>
• "I understand you killed my girlfriend."
• "Should we order?"
• <Pat>"Aye, we'll have a couple of jam sandwiches." <waiter> "We're really not that kind of restaurant, sir." <Pat> "You have bread, do you?" <waiter>
  "Of course, sir." <Pat> "You have jam?" <waiter> "I see what sir is driving at." <Pat> "Well then . . ." <Mad Dog points his gun at the waiter's
  crotch> <waiter> "Raspberry or Strawberry?" <Pat> "Whatever you like yourself." <waiter> "Certainly, sir."
• "Now about this tape . . ."
• "You really don't want to play stupid bugger with me, Starkey."
• "What a pity. Still, I find that pain is such a marvelous memory stimulant."
• "Should we go?"
•  
• "I'm going to make this very simple for you."
• "Fastest reader I ever saw. Thirteen stories in four seconds."
• "Don't fuck me about anymore, Starkey."
• "Which leaves us the small matter of the tape." <Starkey> "You can stick your tape up your fuckin' hole!" <Pat> "Well, I don't think it would fit up my hole. But, em, I have an idea who's it might." <Trish comes out><Starkey> "You fucker!" <Pat> "That's very kind of you, Starkey. But, em, <mock whisper> I fucked her already." <Starkey> "Trish?" <Pat> "Quite good."
•  
• "Ah now, isn't that just lovely?"
• <Starkey> "There's no need for this!" <Pat> "You're right, Starkey. But it's excitin', isn't it? And of course it gives us a good laugh as well."
  <Starkey> "You are so sick!" <Pat> "Thank you."
• "Truth?"
• "Sucker."
• "You shut your mouth."
• "I don't believe in them." (guns)
•  
• <Pat> "You're not going to let him do this to me, are you darlin'? Not after everything we went through." <Trish> "I fell for you. Now you fall
  for me."
• <Pat> "Look, what'll it take to get me out of this?" <Starkey> "An ability to fly."
• "Don't leave me here!"
•  
• <Pat> "Funny what attracts two people, isn't it?" <Starkey> "Sorry?" <Pat> "Me and Margaret. You and Margaret. You and your wife. _Me_ and your
  wife. I suppose really to complete the circle, you should sleep with my wife. But, em, I wouldn't recommend it." <Starkey> "Crap, is she?"
• "Here's what I want you to do . . . "
• "And then we'll all have a nice little powwow."
• "So . . . are you ready to go _now_?"
• "What are you protecting him for?"
• "Jesus! Is there anything funnier than a journalist wrestling with his conscience?"
• "I'll tell you what my _newly_ principled little friend . . . I'll make it easy for you."
• "How's that for the bigger fuckin' picture?"
• <Pat>"You're not as smart as you think." <Starkey after Pat leaves the room> "I never said I was smart."
•  
• <Starkey> "You two know each other?" <Pat> "Oh, aye. We share an interest in hotels."
• "A bomb's a bomb."
• "Besides just look what an illustrious career I kickstarted."
• "Did you have trouble with the word, 'alone'?"
• "Do you have the money?"
• "I thought it was a nice touch of irony . . . you have wee Margaret killed and her lover brings you salvation."
• <Starkey rants about 'individuals'> <Pat> "Individuals! Aye, we get the point, Starkey."
• "You're alright, Michael. I trust you."
• "Let's all have a wee listen now, shall we?"
• <Car explodes. Pat mouthes the word "Boom"
• "I thought you said they were long-life batteries?"
• "Don't look so shocked."
• "You're alive. 'Cause if you loved Margaret half as much as I did, you'll want to write about her. About who killed her, and why. People should know
  he wasn't a martyr to peace."
• "Ah, Shit."

Harry (Solitaire for 2)

• "Well, you've got them eating out of the palm of your hand."
• "How about some relaxation on me?"
• "Oooh, looks a bit like a child cast adrift on an endless ocean."
• "Is this a sulk by any chance?"
• "I see an autumn wedding."
• "That's because you're transparent."
• "She is having you on."
• "You know, if you want someone to believe you, you should look them in the eye."
• "How awful for you."
• "You are quite unbelievable. Don't you have any scruples?"
• "I think we're meant to watch this."
• "Jesus Christ, I don't believe it!"
• "Well, I'll get straight to the point then."
• "You know, you are quite something."
• "You know, you should really take a look at yourself."
• "What's that supposed to mean?"
• "God, you are a real bitch."
• "No. You can screw up your own life, but I'm not going to listen to this."
• "You know what? I don't give a shit."
• "Get out!"
• "Can you read my mind?"

Father Luca Tonarini (The Last Don II)

• "Let's take this slowly. Begin at the beginning."
• "We must look to God. He has all the answers."
• "You're upset."
• "I have seen the devil. And he's no dead man."
• "Sometimes in life we all have to face painful truths. Because truth is the one constant."
• "That would explain why she said she was being held prisoner."
• "I came as soon as I could."
• "You're in hell already."
• "I understand this - if you stick around in hell long enough, you see the devil."
• "I knew my life was over unless I changed. I decided I wanted to live. I wanted to change. But you gotta decide
  for yourself. What do you want? A life? This living death?"
• "I'm gonna come and see you everyday."
• "It takes work to save a soul."
• "Don't be a chicken, come on!"
• <In response to a kid yelling, "Bet you can't beat me, Father!"> "Oh yeah? How much?"
• "Well, who's gonna question a man of the cloth?"
• "She deserves a little happiness after everything. Don't you think?"
• "I think you could do anything you put your mind to. Anything."
• "I was just there when you needed me. Like the church was there for me. Now you don't need me anymore."
• "That's what I'm doing - I'm grabbing hold of you."
• <In response to the older priest's, "Let's pray."> "It won't do any good. My mind is made up."
• "I have to go alone."
• "God, I love you. But I'm a priest and I know now what I must do with my life."
• "Remember that I love you. Always remember that."
• "Ahhhhghgglghele - gurgle, gurgle." <--- ok, he didn't really say this either . . . - Diane

Michael Ryan (Dangerous Lady)

• "Christ, smash his place up."
• "Bless me father, for I have sinned."
• "The butcher's daughter?! Well, at least we'll never be short a bit o' meat, huh?"
• "Princess! Let's have a look."
• <In response to 'over my dead body'> "Well let's hope that's not necessary."
• <In response to 'do you know what they say about you?> "Yeah. That I'm a violent, perverted bender. But nobody says it to my face. Nobody."
• "Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you. They are."
• "It's mine. I earned it. I paid for it with my body."
• "You know you're precious to me."
• "I only make you jealous to keep you sweet."
• "You done your bit supplying the lovely bride. And all those sausages."
• "Need arms, Father, to fight the devil."
• "Do you know why I'm always there for you? Do you? Because no one was ever there for me, that's why."
• "I'll buy you the posh. They're cheaper than most people think."
• "If you don't dance with me, I'm going to cut off you husband's cock and stick it in the pork chipolata."
• "Even cheap whores want paying. And I ain't cheap."
• "You never complained when I put food on the table."
• "It's a dangerous business, even for a bloke."
• "Did you get what you wanted, eh, when you were feelin' her up, your hands all over her body? When she was underneath you, when you were
  ridin' her, givin' her one?"
• "You don't need help from me to look like an idiot."
• "Now listen to me, you oily little shit! I don't do deals!"
• "Anything you say, Princess."
• "We could slug it out for her, man to man. Oh, no. We already did that, and you lost."

---

Father Richard Smythe (The End of the Affair)

• "What was the real purpose of your visit?"
• "People sometimes come to me and can't explain why... They must ask themselves."
• "I know all about you."
• "Go, please. Would you just go."
• "I would have taken care of all the arrangements, if I'd known."
• "We recognize the baptism of desire."
• "Nothing you can do will affect her now."
• "Let the poor man rave."
• "I know when a man is in pain."
• "Oh, you are a good hater."

Colonel Mekum (Soldier)

• "They're very much improved, Captain. In every way possible."
• "It's a whole different standard."
• "How about a few tests, just to get you on board, make you a believer."
• "Seen enough, Captain?"
• "Make a note of that."
• "Of course age is a factor."
• "And we've done such wonderful things with the mind."
• "I believe you mean AQ, Captain. Aggressive tendencies. Much higher."
• "Get your ass down here on the double."
• "Look at you! Do you know how much it cost to breed you, you big moron? To train you? Feed you?"
• "What good is this man now? He's got no depth perception. All he can do now is walk point and take the first hit."
• <In response to 'What about the bodies?'> "Waste disposal."
• "You still don't get it, do you, Captain? Your men are obsolete."
• "We'll write this up as a training accident. And we'll make sure the bodies get dumped a long way from here. We don't want anyone asking any silly questions."
• "We don't want paperwork, Captain. And we certainly don't want passengers."
• "All trespassers will be considered hostile."
• "Excellent. It'll be very good experience for the men."
• "Whoever they are, they don't belong there. Officially, they're hostiles."
• "A growl? He heard a growl?"
• "We're obviously up against a significant military presence here."
• "Those bastards are just waiting for us in there."
• "What exactly does that crap mean in English?"
• "We're sitting ducks here."
• "That hadn't better be a recrimination. Because if that's recrimination I will have you court-martialled."
• "I am NOT panicking!"
• "Boom. We win."
• "Fuck 'em. Let's just go."
• "I'm not going to die because of your pompous bullshit."

Dr. Desmond Collier (Inspector Morse)

• "Aggression down to zero; the more you put in a cage, the more they cuddle up."
• "Why don't you go and get drunk at All Souls and I'll struggle on with my desperately dangerous drugs"
• "Then get it while it's hot "
• "Ya can't win, can ya? Cure their senility, give them back heartache."
• <Mike> "You always leave the front door open?" <Desmond> "Always. Just in case by any sad mischance something exciting should escape the lab and be found on unlicensed premises. No alibi like pleading guilty to another offence, eh, Mike. It is Mike, isn't it?"
• "So what can I do for you at 3 AM?"
• "Don't worry, won't bite. Promise."
• "There is no 'but,' this is a totally but-less drug, if the police weren't so stupid I could explain it to them."
• "Suit yourself."
• "I would have thought . . . ehm a feeling of extreme clear-headedness."
• "Well, it's like this; Since this pill is going to change the life of every old person in the world, the research labs are dying to get their hands on my formula and since my entire future depends on their not getting it . . . I left the lab unlocked on Saturday night. Euh, classic Freudian slip"
• "What can I tell you? Wont happen again; promise."

Check out this coffee close-up ---->

Eric and John Barr (Taggart)

PART ONE:

Eric

• "Before you say anything . . . you're right. I'm sorry. I really am."
• "But, I've worked out a way for us to solve all our problems."
• "You wanna shut the door?"
• "I know I've been a mug. But this way it's a new chance with a clean sheet. Whattaya think?"
• "It solves everything."
• "I know. Trust me."
• "Now you go off to the center. I'll go through my mail and get things back to rights. Then we'll cross the t's and dot the i's on Monday, ok? Thanks a lot, pal."
• <looking at watch> "Shit."

John

• "Well . . . <takes a drink from can of beer> mission accomplished."

Eric

• "Yeah, it's hellish. Really hellish."
• "No, don't bother."
• "Thanks a lot."
• "Thank god."
• "I did a bit of walking. Through the West Highland way."

PART TWO

Eric

• "Nope, not a clue."
• <Taggart> "What about the figures?" <Eric> "I suppose they're accurate. I knew we weren't in a healthy state. I did not know things were as bad as this."

John

• <Diane> "You look different with your clothes off." <John> "It's the suit. The dreaded lawyer's suit."
• <Diane> "I thought you didn't drink." <John> "Well, I'm a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler."

Eric

• "Let your fingers do the walking."

John

• "Hi, Diane?"
• <John> "And I was wondering, eh, what you were doing tonight?" <Diane> "What did you have in mind?" <John> "Why, I don't know. Maybe a meal? Italian, Indian . . . Serbo-Coatian?"
• "Thai. Chicken . . . and lemongrass curry. I hope you don't mind, I decided against going out. A little privacy and of course this way I get to show off my skills in the . . . kitchen. Where's the wok?"
• "Ok, let's see. Whatta we have here? We have lemongrass, lime leaves (?), shallots, coriander, garlic, chillies, shrimp paste, tumeric, and gung poa?? and all sorts of sauce. Do you have even the slightest notion how difficult it is to get your hands on fresh gung poa at this time?"
• <looking at photo of himself> "Oh, Christ no! How embarrassing. What an idiot."
• "Hey, that's really good."
• <Diane> "By the way, have you got your toothbrush?" <John> "Sorry?" <Diane> "Well I thought you might be in the mood for a shallow and meaningless relationship." <John smiles>

PART THREE

John

• "Trust me. It's worth it."
• <Diane> "And what kind of a kid were you?" <John> "Lonely."
• <John kinda quoting Shelley> "See the mountains kiss high heaven. And the sunlight kiss the sea. What is all this sweet work worth, if thou kiss not me."

John and Eric

• <John>"No! That's it! I've had enough. Look, I've been stuck in here, no telly, no bloody newspapers, no nothing for a week now. You know, you travel half-way around the world to get me, tell me all you need is for me to dress up in a monkey suit and go to a football match, and you give me five grand. Ok. I haven't asked and I don't care why. I kept my part of the bargain. For the last time - where is the money you promised me?" <Eric> "Look, it's on its way." <John> "You've been saying that for a week!" <Eric> "With your ticket home." <John> "I don't want a ticket anymore. I'm not going back. I'm staying here." <Eric> "What?" <John> "I found someone I actually want to stay for." <Eric> "Your little photographer friend? You shouldn't have let her take photographs, John. I don't like publicity." <John lets out a laugh> "I'm still getting in the way, eh, Eric? A nuisance of a little brother by 13 1/2 bloody minutes! You know, I always blamed mum for sending me away. I mean, I never bought that story about the two of us being too much for her. All these years I thought she just liked you better. Now I know though it wasn't her, it was you. You bloody set her against me from the first day we were born, didn't you?" <Eric> "We can talk about it when you're less emotional." <John> "Emotional! You wouldn't know an emotion if it bit you on the leg! When I saw that picture of the pair of you . . . you really did cut me off, didn't you?" <Eric> "You smashed the photo of mum and me!" <John> "I don't know what you've been up to, but either you get me the cash today, or I'm phonin' the police. Now what's it to be?" <Eric> "I'm just off to get the money. It'll be 15 minutes." <John> "Good. I'll be gone in 20!"

Eric

• "Are you ok?"
• "That was lucky."
• "I wish you hadn't seen that."

---

Chas Ewell (Capital City)

(First episode - "Second Quarter Figures"):

• <Chas> "Sorry?" <Louise> "Have you got a cigarette?" <Chas> "No, I'm sorry. I don't smoke." <Louise> "Nevermind." <Chas> "You ok?"
• <Chas> "A packet of cigarettes, please." <saleswoman> "What kind? I've got 30 brands." <Chas> "Um, I don't know. Any kind. Whatever you smoke."
• "So, em, are you going somewhere?"
• "And what about now? Where are you going?"
• "Yeah?"
• "Alright, don't worry about it. Thanks."
• "We said we'd hold off until the market traded up. We agreed to wait."
• <Chas> "What is the matter with you?" <Jimmy> "Bloody Deutsch mark!" <Chas> "Listen mate, if you're gonna come unhinged everytime you read the market wrong, I'd rather you didn't use my desk, ok?" <Jimmy> "I didn't read it wrong." <Chas> "Yeah? Well what's bugging you?"
• "That puts us square. We did it."
• "We agreed to bloody wait."
• <Louise> "Oh, I've slept all day." <Chas> "That's good. Feel ok?" <Louise> "Yeah, better be going though." <Chas> "No, listen. You don't have to go. This room's empty, no one uses it. Just stay for a few days while you figure out what you're doing. We go to work early. You have the whole place to yourself. Yeah? You want something to eat?"
• <Jimmy> "Who is that?" <Chas> "It's complicated. I'll explain later." <Jimmy> "Isn't she in the wrong room?" <Chas> "Just leave her alone, ok?"

Dez 2 (Loved Up)

• "How ya doing?"
• "Who's the lucky girl?"
• <Dez> "Everyone sorted for the night? I can see you two are." <One of the guys> "Not me." <Dez> "Then step into my office."
• "Oi! Excuse me? <laughs> The story of my life, that is."
• <Sarah> "Is it actually possible to orgasm late?" <Dez> "You're lucky he can even get it up."
• <Sarah> "My mom's a drunk." <Dez> "Does she need any drugs?"
• "Crash at my place if you like."
• "Ah, what can I do for you?"
• <Dez> "Ah, I'm busy today. I'm working." <Sarah> "Fair enough." <Dez> "You can come along if you want." <Sarah> "Yeah?" <Dez> "Yeah, learn some tricks of the trade. You fancy?"
• "Don't say nothin,' alright? I've got a reputation to keep up."
• <Dez> "You got your real stuff in your right pocket. Spikes in your left. Dummies up here. Yeah? What's in your left?" <Sarah> "Spikes." <Dez> "Very good. So, someone comes to buy it, you size 'em up, right? You know 'em, you gonna see 'em again, or they're bigger than you, you sell 'em the hard stuff. Weekenders they get spiked, cause they're a little rushed, they love it, they don't know any better, they come back later on, buy more off 'ya. Twice the profit. And tossers, people who're already buzzin' and want more, sell 'em a dummy. Right?" <Sarah> "Yeah, but why're you telling me all this?" <Dez> "Cause I want you to come work for me."
• "So you watch it? Didja call it? Whatta you think?"
• "You know, you're gonna make a lot of money at this."
• "You know you're looking good tonight, Sarah."
• "I wanta have sex with ya."
• "No, I'm serious."
• <Dez> "What happened to you?" <Sarah> "You might have warned me about the psycho Zen master on the loose." <Dez> "Ah. You met Ray then." <Sarah> "You know him?" <Dez> "Yeah. He got the money I suppose?" <Sarah> "No, I still got it. And the drugs as it happens." <Dez> <laughs> "You're better at this than I am." <laughs again>
• <Dez> "Hello gorgeous!" <Sarah> "Alright, Dez. What are you on tonight?" <Dez> "Me? I've done it all." <Sarah> "I can tell."
• <Dez> "You got a hug for the man who made it all possible? There ya go, that's nice, isn't it? Isn't that nice? You like that?" <Sarah> "I can't breath." <Dez> "Hey, just relax. Just relax. Just a bit of affection, that's all. Just a little bit of affection. That's allowed, isn't it? That's allowed."
• <Dez> "I'll teach you how to come ____ "
• <Dez> "Get out!" <Tom> "I said, what's going on?" <Dez> "She's all over me, man."
• <Dez> "What're you gonna do? You gonna have a go, hey?" <Tom> "I might." <Dez> "Go on then. Lamp me, cocksucker."
• <Dez> "What did you call me? I'm not your mate. You make me puke. You think we're all one big happy family didja? Yeah? You think I'd hang around wankers like you if I didn't have to? It's all business. That's all. Money in the bank. All of ya. You see I know that score, man. Cause I know what's goin' on. This poxy thing's fallin' apart. And I tell ya, when the shit comes down, you better make sure you're wearing a fucking helmet!"

Evil Scientist Dude (Resident Evil)

Opening narration:

• "At the beginning of the 21st century, the Umbrella Corporation had become the largest commercial entity in the United States. Nine out of every 10 homes contain its products. Its political and financial influence is felt everywhere. In public, it is the world's leading supplier of: Computer Technology, Medical Products and Healthcare. Unknown even to its own employees, its massive profits are generated by: Military Technology, Genetic Experimentation and Viral Weaponry."

Evil Scientist Dude:

• "He's mutating. I want him in the Nemesis program."
• "I want her quarantined. Close observation. And a full series of blood tests. Let's see if she's infected.
• "Take her to the Racoon City facility. Then assemble the team. We're reopening the hive. I wanna know what went on down there. Just do it."

---

Steve (Shopping)

• "Yeah, I don't know. Been gettin' a lot of heat recently."
• "Can't do it. I'd like to help, but things are tough."
• "True."
• "I'll tell you what . . . make it 25, I'll take the lot."
• "I told ya, things are hard."
• "Sorry."
• "What you fuckin' lookin' at?!!"

Frank Dillon (Civvies)

PART ONE

• "Is that right?"
• "What's happened to you?"
• "What's goin' down?"
• "Let's flush 'em out."
• "All right mate? Here, you wanna cuppa tea?"
• "Come on, get your head down."
• "God you stink."
• "Right? Am I right?"
• "Bastard? You say, bastard? You, bastard."
• "Move it! Come on, don't feel sorry for yourself!" On the floor, give me five! 1, 2, 3 . . ."
• "You're pathetic! Pump 'em."
• "Oranges! Get some oranges for juice instead of that bottled stuff."
• "No, you wait. I don't want any involvement with that crook."
• "He's rotten. Billy knew it. I know it. I know it Jimmy, because his type was all I had going for me when I was a kid. And now I want more. And I want it legit.
• "Everything I done was in the Army. And it don't mean nothin'!"
• "Bloody right, mate!"
• "Magic!"
• "You bastard! Turn it off now!"
• "You deaf as well as dumb? Move it!"
• "Come on you bastards. Any takers? Any takers? Come on."
• "No, I don't owe nobody nothin.'"
• "Didn't work out."
• "If it's bent, I'll walk away."
• "What's with the kid?"
• "If you really wanna know, I prefer the firing squad."
• "Take it easy! He's down."
• "Come on. What you waitin' for?"
• "All right, what's the plan now?"
• "Oh bollocks! I'm outta here."
• "I've had enough for one day, Jimmy. Don't try and tell me this is legit. It reeks. It stinks. It's got nothin' to do with insurance and you know it. I don't wanna know."

PART TWO

• "What is this?"
• "Forget it. You wanker."
• "Right now I need any break I can get."
• "Watch your back. Take it easy."
• "And the same bloke, given a medal for riskin' his life, savin' god knows how many people, is goin' nuts because some bastard won't turn his stereo down. His kids are yellin,' he can't find work, his wife don't understand why he can't get a job. What does he expect me to do?"
• "The kids are just gettin' on my nerves, that's all."
• "Why don't you change the records. You're getting to sound like your mother!"
• "If you wanna have a go at me, do it when he's not around, all right?"
• "All right. You wanna talk? I'm all ears. What you wanna know?"
• "And in answer to your question, no, I haven't put a cent on the horses, but if I did, it'd be my business and not yours!"
• "Everybody wants a piece of me! I need some space, ok?!"
• "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again."
• "What you talkin' about? You're drivin' mate. I've never driven an automatic."
• "Keep your mouth shut."
• "All right you smartass, you drive. Just take it easy."
• "Look love, I don't know what to suggest. I'm here if he wants to call me again. All right?"
• "Oh god! I've got a terrible backache."
• "Leave it."
• "Good, he's broken his bloody neck."
• "I was gonna bring these up. Where's the sugar? Oh shit. Where do we keep the teaspoon?"
• "Don't. Leave it. Come on. Let's go to bed. I'll take this up."
• "I'm tellin' you - use some deodorant. You stink."
• "You're bloody useless on directions."
• "How we set for gas?" <Steve farts> "Very funny." <Frank sprays deodorizer in the car>
• "Here, you got any cash?"
• "White Elephant, Steve."
• "Back to base, sir?"
• "They're right behind us."
• "They're still tailing us. What you wanna do?"
• "We can lose 'em."
• "Wanna put your seatbelts on?"
• "Do it."
• "About time. Look, this has got completely out-of-hand. I've got to call the wife. She'll be worried sick. Shit. It's all been a misunderstanding."
• "What about the Merc? It's not mine. Who's gonna pay for that?"
• "I'm gonna make it, Jimmy." You do whatever you want, but you stay clear of me."
• "Sorry I sounded off with you."
• <Frank> "It's not gonna work." <wife> "What isn't?" <Frank> "Civvies. I'm signin' up for mercenary duty."
• "Who's 'they,' eh? The army? I was in it, now I'm out of it."
• "We used to pride ourselves. We were the toughest. The best of fightin' men. They wanna change it all. Change our image. It was my life. My lads. I got as far as I could go. As far as they let someone like me go. Yes men. That's what they want now. Yes men. They don't want soldiers. They want blokes with good education. The Falklands were the best time in my life. Everything we trained for, came together. Same for all of us. Everything I was made sense."
• "For your information! There's still a war goin' on in Ireland!"
• "I can provide for _my_ wife and my kids."
• "I'm goin' crazy. I'm goin' crazy." <crying>
• "Keep the MPs busy. I'm goin' under the fence."
• <Taffy> "You come for me, Frank?" <Frank> "Yeah, me and a few of the lads. Don't want the wankers in blue takin' you in."
• "You were the best back-up buddy I ever had. That's what me and the boys are here for now."

PART THREE - SCOTLAND

• "How do they do it?"
• "You got any guard dogs?"
• "You're wide open."
• "We've got a job to do, all right? Let's get on with it. Get these boys cleaned up."
• "What's goin' down?"
• "Deal. Have you been drinking all morning?"
• "No need to apologize."
• "Sod off! Go on, get out!"
• "We'll all have to have a good act. You all right with the coppers?"
• "Right. You all know what to do. Stay tight."
• "I asked you a question, pal."
• "You've had that comin' for a long time, Malone."
• "Ow! Just get off me! You make me feel worse."
• "Because he's free, Jimmy. Don't let some bastard nail 'im to a wall."
• "Thanks for the dough."
• <Cissy> "You look terrible." <Frank> "Had a bump into a tree."
• "It makes you think about freedom. None of us had too much of that. But the way the army trains ya, everything's ordered, you live by rules, with regulations. Don't even know what's happenin' to you."
• <tears streaming down his face> "Only five years in Belfast. You wear a red beret, kids spit at you in the street, always scream at you with hate. Hate. You can feel it, but you gotta act as if nothin's happenin.' See your mate blown apart. You wanna give 'em some of that shit back, ya know, but you can't. If you do . . . Players. We call the IRA, the players, like it was some sick game. The only game that's been played is on us. Me. I don't fit in anyplace, love. None of us do."
• "It's time I went home."
• "God bless, love."
• "Take it, Steve. You're on your own."

Peter Fraiman (A Relative Stranger)

1975

• "No need to touch, see? Just feel the air currents that shape the body. Explore the aura. ___ Spiritual. And charged with you inner energies. Ok? So do it again. And just bloody get it right.
• "All right, Marlon, just get on with it. Ok, lights, camera, action.
• "Yeah, that's good. Yeah that's groovy. Great. Come on. Really let yourselves go. You're escapin' into the forest of your dreams.
• "You can't get more radical than the Dream. Personal politics, isn't it? Enterin' the forest is breakin' free of all the restrictions of the bourgeois world. Findin' your true self. You could do with some of that. <Steve> "Don't kid yourself, man. It's Mickey Mouse." <Peter> "Well and you're a Welsch nationalist asshole! The Dream's exactly where it's at. It's an anarchist's manifesto. Well it is! You know, man against the state."
• "Oi! I'm the director."
• "Bollocks. We'll do it without him."
• "You know when this thing's all done, I'm doin' nothing for two weeks. Absolutely nothing."
• "Do ya know there's a place in Sweden called 'A'? Just that one letter. Right, there's a place in America called "B." I was thinking we could do an alphabetical tour of the world. We could busk (?), pick grapes, feed the poor."
• "Ooooh, do that again."
• "I think you should press your obicularis oris against my obicularis oris."
• "I think you should marry me."

1995

• "Have I had an accident?"
• "I don't feel too good."
• "Where's dad?"
• "I seem to have lost my bearings."
• "I remember the last few hours. I remember waking up this morning."
• "I don't know these people."
• "What's happened to me?"
• "I don't know what I'm doing here. Can I go to bed?"
• "Where should I sleep?"
• "I've been trying to remember what happened."
• <Peter> "Did you hit me? I think I must have hit my head. <Nigel> "What?" <Peter> "I think I must have hit my head because . . . I don't . . . I can't remember anything."
• "Yeah, I was looking for an address book."
• <Nigel> "Don't you remember anything?" <Peter> "Not really, no."
• "You follow me?"
• "How'd you know where I was?"
• <Peter> "I was just lookin' around, you know?" <Alison> "Is it safe for you to be out? Do you know what you're doing?" <Peter> "Yeah, I think so. Well, it feels safe."
• "Cous cous?"
• "That's me. And you." <Alison> "That's all of us." <Peter> "On television?" <Nigel> "It's tape. Rewind it, mum. See? Video."
• "I've never been there."
• <Peter> "I was wondering about a toothbrush. <Alison> "It's in here." <Peter> "Do you have a new one?"
• "Did I film this?"
• "That's all we do?"
• "And I own this?"
• "You were always making things?"
• "Did I love you?"
• "I came to see you."
• "You look great."
• "Are you busy?"
• "You're a teacher?"
• "You don't know me, do you?"
• "I can't seem to remember anything."
• "They think I'm at the doctor's."
• "I remember you."
• "What is it?"
• "This is what we argued about?"
• "What, you mean, art?"
• "That's very good, isn't it?"
• <Peter> "And you thought of all this yourself? You made it, haven't you?" <Nigel> "You said it was a piece of crap." <Peter> "Did I? Well, I'm sorry. It's uh, it's not." <Nigel> "So you don't think I should be doing something more practical?" <Peter> "Absolutely not." <Nigel> "You mean it?" <Peter> "Yeah."
• <Peter> "What am I like? I mean, do you not like me?" <Nigel> "No. And yeah. I mean I do. Usually you make me feel uneasy." <Peter> "Uh huh. Please go on, please. I really need to know. I mean, I'm not blaming you. I called you 'Nigel' for god's sake. <Nigel> "What do you mean? <Peter> "Well, no disrespect . . . but _Nigel's_ not exactly a . . . " <makes a face> <Nigel smiles> "Gee thanks."
• <Peter> "I was just wondering . . . well do we . . . well, obviously we did, but . . . do we still . . .?" <Alison> "Make love?" <Peter> "Yeah." <Alison> "Occasionally." <Peter> "Oh. What's it like?" <Alison> "Very hard to seperate the sex from the rest of our marriage. What's it like, ah? It's familiar. We don't kiss very much anymore. Were you worried that you might be impotent?" <Peter> "No!"
• <Jenny> "How did you find my address?" <Peter> "Just there in my electronic thing."
• "I suppose I must have tracked you down."
• "Are you happy?"
• <Peter> "This is real isn't it? We're here. There's no going back." <Jenny> "No, Peter, no one gets their life back. You have to make the most of this one." <Peter> "What if I don't want this one, eh? I mean, I'm . . . I'm old. I live in this house with this woman. And these kids. They're _my_ kids. Hell, one of them is a _man_. How could they all hate me? I'm everything I never thought I'd be."
• "Can I see you again?"
• <Nigel> "Come on, dad. Don't be such a coward." <Peter> "Now listen to me! I don't know how, or why, but this - is all a mistake." <Nigel> "A mistake?" <Peter> "Yes! Everything." <Nigel> "So, I'm a mistake, am I? And Lisa's a mistake?" <Peter> "No." <Nigel> "And what about mum? And all this? It's a pile of crap, dad, but it's your crap." <Peter> "No, you don't understand." <Nigel> "Yes, I do." <Peter> "No, you don't! I'm sorry. You don't know Jenny. You don't know what we're like. We're supposed to be together." <Nigel> "No, dad!" <Peter> "Yes. Now, something went wrong. I don't know how exactly, but I've got a second chance now." <Nigel> "No, dad, no."
• "It's good to see you man."
• <Peter> "Does it bother you? <Steve> "What?" <Peter> "Doing something you're not proud of?"
• "Come on, man. They're crap, aren't they?"
• "I wanted that to be private."
• "Have you read it?"
• "Been here all night."
• <Jenny> "Why here for Christ's sake?" <Peter> "The forest. The Dream. It's here we broke the shackles of the bourgeois convention. I can't believe you don't remember."
• <Peter> "I don't think I can do this. Sorry." <Jenny> "Isn't this why we're here?" <Peter> "I need to remember. We had good times, didn't we?" <Jenny> "Yes." <Peter> "Why aren't we married? <Jenny> "Us?" <Peter> "Yeah, we were going to, weren't we?" <Jenny> "No. Seriously." <Peter> "I asked you. You said 'yes'!" <Jenny> "I don't remember." <Peter> "You must remember! Did I do something wrong?" <Jenny> "No." <Peter> "Did you love me?" <Jenny> "Yes, I did once."
• "I'm back."
• "I'm sorry I didn't come home last night. I should have called."

Gavin McKay (Hotel)

(This is all of his dialogue):

• "Hello mate. How you doin? Ow."
• "I'd like to say I'm really excited about doing it. I think it's fuckin' crackin.' Can't wait to get my teeth into it. But at the risk of being a little bit critical, I don't know , John, if we might have lost some of the poetry . . . "
• <acting> "Remember, you are alone here, Antonio. And the cardinal, appears given cause to be jealous of any man, engenders worse labors and plots for them, then ever were imposed on Hercules. And as for Ferdinand his brother, he lives to entrap men with their answers."
• "I've got a little kinda question, maybe an announcement. Is there any way, do you think, Jonathan listen up please, that we could do all of my scenes today? Do you think there's any chance of Wyatt (?) scheduling back-to-back?"
• "What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, remember in San Marcs you said if I ever got a paying gig, right? That it'd be all right, you'd understand? Well I got the Ridley Scott gig. I got it. Johnny's got some sort of urinary infection and they just called me, right, this morning. What I'm saying is, I could do it all day today or I could come back and shoot . . . (voice over)."
• "Uh, it's a scheduling . . . I love these guys, right? And we're actually very, very close friends. There's a scheduling conflict with another job that they always knew might come up."

The 'director's' comments on Gavin:

• "For the record, Gavin McKay is a fuckin' useless let-me-down cunt."

Major Mellitz (Windtalkers)

(This is all of his dialogue):

• <Mellitz> "At ease. You've done well as a marine, Corporal. Better than you did as a civilian. Stole a motor bike. Crashed it. Got kicked out of high school. Assault and battery on one, Father Crispin O'Donnell. A priest?" <Enders> "Assistant principal at Arch Bishop Keean (?) High School, sir, and head disciplinarian." <Mellitz> "Public school boy myself."
• <Mellitz> "Some minor problems in boot. A commendation for valor in Shanghai, and you made a hell of a stand on the Solomon's. Tough bit of business there, huh?" <Enders> "Pretty tough, sir." <Mellitz> "But you're prepared to jump right back into it?" <Enders> "Yes, sir. Very much so." <Mellitz> "Very much so."
• <Mellitz> "Well, the Japs have pretty much busted every code we've thrown at 'em, Corporal. Your men on the Solomon's were lost to a broken code. Tell me something, you ever run into any Injuns on Solomon's?" <Enders> "Indians, sir?" <Mellitz> "Navajo to be exact. The corp's developed a new code based on their language. It's had quite an impact. So much so, the Navy has decided to go to great lengths to protect it. That's why you're here. You're to pair with one of 'em. Keep his ass safe. Your job is to keep him alive so he can do his job." <Enders> "Begging the Major's pardon, but I believe I best serve the corp killing Japs, not babysitting some Indian." <Mellitz> "Enders, we didn't pick your name out of a hat. We need good marines. That's why you're standing here. Take a look." <hands him some photos> "It's a Navajo. Or it was. Tortured to death by Japanese intelligence trying to bust our code. Fortunately, he couldn't have helped them even if he wanted to." <Enders> "Sir?" <Mellitz> "The man's a Navajo, not a codetalker. The code's based on their language, but it is still a code. Tojo'd like nothing more than to catch a live one. What' I'm about to tell you, Corporal, can not leave this room. Under no circumstances can you allow your codetalker to fall into enemy hands. Your mission is to protect the code. At all costs. You understand me?" <Enders> "Yes, sir. I do." <Mellitz> "Good. Congratulations, you just made Sargeant."

Doctor #2 (The Tall Guy)

(This is all of his dialogue - really):

• "What is it, sir?"
• "You mean the patient's . . . spineless?"

Sid Blake (Mild & Bitter)

• "There's our beer, Mr Richards."
• "Wey hey, beer!"
• "Right gentlemen, this is on me"
• "Mild and bitter. Four times, please."
• "Where is the nearest pub?"
• "Well, what's wrong with tea."
• "Tea, make it strong."
• "Four teas."
• "Many are disappointed."
• Take no notice of them, Missus. You mean gypsies, right?"
• "Thank you."
• "That's why Ted's missus makes him a flask every day."
• <Sid> "Funny thing . . . I think I've seen that woman somewhere before." <second man> "That's the trouble with you, Sid. Seen too many women before." <Sid> "Right! You lot sort it out. I'll go fix her up." <second man> "Sid's off."
• <Mousy Woman> "Would four shillings be too much?" <Sid> "No, it's all right."
  <Sid> "You don't get a lot of people, I suppose?" <Mouse Woman> "No, not many." <Sid> "It could get lonely, I expect?" <Mouse Woman> "Some think it is." <Sid> "How long you been here?" <Mouse Woman> "Only three years. Seems longer." <Sid> "Thought I'd seen you before. You don't come from, ehm . . . Bortonstead, do you?" <Mouse Woman> "I come from Ridgley." <Sid> "Ahhhhh, thought you weren't from these parts." <Mouse Woman> "I've been ill. The doctor told us to come here. My husband gave up his job and everything. The money's not so good here. We try and make it up with the tea. I nearly died." <Sid> "You're all right now." <Mouse Woman> "I'm better. It seems I get lonely, now I'm better." <Sid> "You want for company?" <Mouse Woman> "My husband says 'you've got your health, what do you want company for'?" <Sid>"Aww, a woman wants company."
• <Sid to little girl> "You've seen this before." (removes his pinky ring) "Last time . . . hmmm?"
• "Lucky, you're taught mischief (not too sure of that line). "You've a ring on your little finger, you'll always be lucky. I think your mam needs one. She's got hers on the wrong finger, eh? Little finger for luck . . . big one for trouble."
• "Better go."
  

Tony Kay (The Fix)

• "What? Who wants me?"
• "What if I don't want to leave Sheffield, eh? I'm a home-lovin' boy, me."
• "In fact, I'd go so far as t say it's a phobia."
• "I don't know."
• "I want that medal, boss."
• <Tony> "And one more thing . . . " <Catterick> "No, whatever it is." <Tony> "A jag. A shiny new one. But don't worry . . . I'll buy it meself."
• "No. I'm not doin' it."
• "I said I'm not not doin' it. Anyway . . . I wouldn't know how."
• "Get him out, will ya?"
• "Oh, give over woman. I came home for you, didn't I?"
• "I was homesick."
• "Get off!"
• "You're a bit keen, aren't ya? For someone who don't wanta move?" <Tony in falsetto> "Tony, I can't move. I hate __ __."
• "All right, all right."
• "Oh yeah."
• "Tell me his fuckin' name."
• "Jesus Christ."
• "Well you see him again, you tell him from me he's a right fuckin' Dick Turpin." <puzzled look from the boys> "A robber."
• "I just want what's mine. Nothing more, nothing less."
• "Ill see you two boys at Everton next time you come for a thrashing."
• "Hey, hey, we're here."
• "Will you shut up and start enjoyin' yourself for god's sake?"
• "I don't know. I'll sort him out."
• "Morning, major."
• "Look at that, eh."
• <Marina> "Where is everybody?" <Tony> "They're all in bed. Making mad, passionate love. They do that a lot 'round here."
• "You're all right now, eh?"
• "See ya later."
• "Hey, have I ever let you down on the pitch, boss?"
• "Just one more! I'll be over in a minute."
• Two girls approach the bar. One very attractive (jail bait) and one not so much. <friend> "Look at these two." <Tony> "Shame about yours, isn't it?
• "Hello ladies. Fancy a drink?"
• "Yeah, I'm a footballer."
• "Last match you watched, your grandad must have been playing."
• "Oi, lads! Do us a favor and get her a drink."
• "Hello love."
• <Marina referring to jail bait car slut> "You know what this is? Three years inside." <Tony> "She's 18, that one." <Marina> "How do you know?" <Tony> "Couldn't get in here otherwise, could she?"
• "You'll wake the neighbors!"
• "Nothing I bloody do is good enough for you, is it?"
• "But no, you're never bloody satisfied. You keep holding me back."
• <Tony> "So what did you say to her?" <Marina> "I told her I'd scratch her Scouse eyes out if she as much as laid a finger on my husband." <Tony> "Good thing you were polite."
• "I just want to enjoy."
• "Thank you very much."
• "I'm gonna fall into me bed."
• "Listen, how old are ya?! I'm talkin' to ya! How bloody old are ya?"
• "Oh shit!"
• "Shit, shit, shit!"
• "Evenin,' Constable."
• <Constable> "What're ya doin'?" <Tony> "Biology. We're studying biology."
• "What you doin'?"
• "Where are the kids?"
• "Don't honey. I'll do anything you want."
• "I can't go back. Not now."
• "It's a life ban! No exceptions."
• "Well, you can if you like. You'll not catch me crawlin.'"
• "You mighta thrown the game. I bloody saw you throw the game. You're even worse at throwin' the game than you are at playing the bloody game! But I never threw nothin,' right? All I did was have a bet."
• "Listen, from now on, you keep away from me, right? Both of ya. You don't ring me. You don't see me. We don't know each other. And that's the way it stays."
• "It's just a spur of the moment thing."
• "Nah, you're all right."
• "Hey, leave 'er alone for Christ's sake!"
• "Better go."
• "None of your bloody business."
• "Yeah, well I'm not in the mood for sympathy, all right?"
• "What's it got to do with me?"
• "Course I can."
• "I'm gonna change, all right?"
• "I don't know what you're talkin' about."
• "I"m in trouble."
• "I can feel him out there, you know? Waitin' to get me, and he's not gonna stop 'til he's finished me."
• "I don't know what I'm gonna do."
• "Whattaya want with me?"
• "Easy, eh?"
• <Gabbett> "Come one, admit it Tony. You're bent. That's the truth." <Tony> "What do you know about fuckin' truth?! Eh, you want the truth?"
• "Yeah, I am bent. The whole stinkin' game is. But you know what? At least I love it."
• "There's something I need to tell you."

Dave "Percy" Sledge (The Last Minute)

(This is all of his dialogue):

Chapter 7

• "A recent, but very welcome addition to our little portfolio."
• <Janey> "So you're all drug dealers then?" <Percy smiles and says> "Actually Janey, I'm a singer, amongst other things. Damon here's a big fan of my singing. Aren't you, Damon?" <Damon> "Oh yeah. Percy here's a regular crooner."
• "Hang on."
• <Percy> "Enough of that bollocks. Oi! That's enough! Just play the records." <DJ> "Fuck off." <Percy (incredulous)> "Sorry? What did you say?" <DJ> "I said, 'fuck off.'" <Percy> "That's what I thought you said."
• "Right. That's enough of that cunt. It's time I got off mine." <-- not sure about that last bit
• "I'll be back for that. Keep it warm."

Chapter 21

• "Shanks! Shanks! Sha-anks!
• "Shankie, Shankie, Shankie. Put the fucking kettle on! Percy's here!"
• "Did you really think I wouldn't come and find you, Shanks? Eh? Did you really think you could fuck with me? You must mistake me for some kind of customer-friendly lending institution. Do I look like a banker to you? Cause I'm not. I don't give credit. You take my gear, you pay for my gear. And I thought that was perfectly crystal even to an old nunce like you."
• "Is that so? What you've gotta understand . . . is a late payment is not exactly the issue. I cast __ very often, thank you very much. If I let you take a piss, my other clients might think I've gone all reasonable or somethin.' They might think they can take a liberty, while you've taken a liberty. And that we cannot have."
• "So . . . what I'm gonna do, is make an example of you and your entire pathetic little crew. And that's why we've brought knives . . . and guns . . . and a lovely big sledgehammer. Say your prayers, Mr. Grimshanks. This is gonna be a fuck of an example."

Chapter 22

• "Turn him over."
• <in a tiny voice with a little wave of his hand> "Hello"
• <imitates Shanks whining and then smashes him in the face with his sledgehammer> "And that is why they call me 'Percy'"

Jason quotes from the special features coming soon . . .

Captain Hook/Mr. Darling (Peter Pan)

Darling Residence:

George Darling:

• "All right! All right! All right! All right! A little less noise! Let's settle down!"
• "No . . ."
• "Marry?"
• "Go on! Walk to your auntie. Stand up straight."
• "Shhhh! Stop it!"
• "My Wendy . . . a woman."
• "Wit?"

Bank:

• "I say . . .what nice weather we're having . . ."
• "I say . . . splendid tie."
• "Uh, I, uh, what a . . . I, uh, uh, I uh."

Darling Residence:

• "I have been humiliated! No! I must become a man that children fear and adults respect! Or we shall all end up in the street!"
• "Let them hear! Let the whole world know! This is not a nurse! This is a dog!"
• "Tomorrow you begin your instruction with Aunt Milicent. It's time for you to grow up!"
• "Oh. No. It's snowing. We'll catch our death."

Party:

• <weak forced laugh> "May I introduce my wife <looks at her> . . ." <Mary> "Mary." <George> "Mary."

Jolly Roger:

James Hook:

• <Hook>"I was dreaming, Smee, of Pan. And in my dream I was a magnanimous fellow. Full of forgiveness. I thanked Pan for cutting off my hand and for giving me this fine hook. For disembowling, and ripping throats, and other fine such homely uses, as combing my hair." <Smee> "So Pan did you a favor . . ." <Hook> "A favor? He fed my hand to a crocodile. The Beast liked it so much it's followed me ever since, licking it's lips for the rest of me. YOU CALL THAT A FAVOR?!!!"
• "Thank Lucifer the beast swallowed a clock. If it wasn't for the ticking it would have had me by now."
• "Why did you wake me, Smee?"
• "He's back."
• "Fetch Long Tom."
• "Fire!"
• "Pan."
• "Stay with him! Stay with him! Fire!"
• "Damnation! Reload the cannon! Quickly!
• "Any other contributions?"
• "Search the jungle! Bring me those children!"

Forest:

• "Princess Tiger Lily."
• "We search, as ever, for Peter Pan and his hideout. Luckily two boys of his acquaintance were seen falling into this part of the jungle. Have you seen them?" <much swearing in Indian> <Smee> "She says, sorry, but no."<Hook> "My hook thinks you have, Princess."

Black Castle:

• "Like all surpise attacks . . . it must be conducted improperly."
• "Put them on the rocks."
• "Come on. Fly to the rescue and then I'll shoot you right through your noble intentions."
• * <Pan in Hook's voice>"Mr. Smee! Brimstone and gall, man, what do you think you're doing?" <Smee> "We put the children on the rock, Captain, like you said."<Pan> "Well set them free!" <Smee> Set 'em free? But what about your trap?" <Pan> "Set them free or I'll plunge my hook in you!" <Smee> "I don't know what he wants. But I'm just a blithering idiot, aren't I? Chain 'em up, let 'em go"<throws teddy in the water> "And take your cat wit' ya."
• <Hook> "Mr. Smee?"Any sign of him?" <Smee> "No, Captain." <Hook> "Where are the children?" <Smee> "It's all right, Captain. We let 'em go." <Hook> "You what?" <Smee> "We let 'em go, Capt'n." <Hook laughs> "You let them go?"
• <Pan in Hook's voice> "Smee!"
  <Hook> "Who are you stranger?"
  <Pan> "I am James Hook, Captain of the Jolly Roger."
  <Hook> "If you are Hook, who am I?"
  <Pan> "You . . . are a codfish."
  <Hook> Tell me, Hook, have you another name?"
  <Pan> "Aye!"
  <Hook> "Vegetable?"
  <Pan> "No."
  <Hook>"Mineral?"
  <Pan> "No."
  <Hook> "Animal?"
  <Pan> "Yes."
  <Hook> "Man?"
  <Pan in his own voice> "No!"
  <Hook> "Boy?"
  <Pan> "Yes."
  <Hook> "Ordinary boy?"
  <Pan> "No!"
  <Hook> "Wonderful boy?"
  <Pan> "Yes! Do you give up? I am . . ."
  <Smee> "Yes!"
  <Hook> "History."
• <Hook>"It is your requiem mass, boy!"
• <Peter Pan> "Ready to lose the other one?" <Hook> "Not this time."
• <Hook> "If I were you . . . I'd give up!" <Pan> "If you were me . . . I'd be ugly."
• <Hook> "Ow."
• <Hook> "Ready? Fire!"
• <Hook> "And now Peter Pan - you shall die." <Pan> "To die will be an awfully big adventure." <crocodile ticking sound> <Hook> "Oh no."
• "SHOOT IT!!! You! Smee!!! Smee!!!" <Smee> "It's all a bit tragic, really, isn't it?"

Forest:

• "Oh evil day."
• "He has found himself a . . . <Tink goes on about Wendy> Wendy? And Hook is all alone."
• "You too? Banished? Tsk, tsk. The dog."
• "I think you and I . . . should talk."

Darling Residence:

George Darling

• "What is it? Have they returned?"
• "They have not returned."

Jolly Roger:

James Hook

• <Hook sings> "Avast belay the English brig. We took and quickly sank. And for a warning to the crew, we made them walk the plank. Yo ho, yo ho, the frisky plank. He walks along it so, til it goes down, and yous go down, to Too Ra Loo Ra Lo . . . " <ends with a flourish>
• "Wendy . . . darling."
• "I'm told you ran away from home."
• "How wonderful!"
• "Ugh, growing up is such a barbarous business. The inconvenience. And pimples. And then the mess starts. Feelings come. Pan is so lucky to be untroubled by them. Oh no, he cannot love. It's part of the riddle of his being."
• "Oh there, there, shhh, tsk, tsk. It doesn't have to be this way."
• <Hook> "Didst thou ever want to be a pirate, my hearty?" <Wendy> "I once thought of calling myself . . . "<Hook> "Hmmmm?"<Wendy> "Red-handed Jill." <Hook> "Oh! What a marvelous name! That's what we'll call you if you join us!"
• "Do you, ehm, by any chance, tell stories?"
• "Bravissimo!"
• "Absolutely! You must. My fellows will return you whence they found you. None of my crew will follow you. I swear it."
• "My new obsession is you. Not Peter Pan. Or his whereabouts."
• <Wendy> "What would mother think of me becoming a pirate?" <Hook> "Until we meet again."
• <Hook to Tink> "Don't fret my dear. With Pan dead, we'll both be free."

Forest:

• "There's no such thing as fairies."
• "A new era begins. Take them away."

Jolly Roger:

• "There's still room for a storyteller." <Wendy> "I'd rather die." <Hook> "Shame."
• <Smee> "Captain, Captain! <Hook> "Hmmm?" <Smee> "Look at the sky! Look at the water! Pan must be dead!"
• "Ship's company! Hat's off! A moment of silence for our fallen enemy . . . Peter Pan."
• "We sail at dawn!"

Bank (conference room):

Mr. Darling:

• "I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"

Jolly Roger:

• ""He's alive! Why is he? What is he?"
• "I'll have one last story before you die!"
• "The story of Peter Pan."
• "Once upon a time . . . ?"
• "Skip the prologue. What fun he must have had."
• "Lonely? He needed a Wendy."
• "Why a Wendy?"
• "What stories?"
• "Love stories?"
• "They all end in a kiss. A kiss . . . he does feel. He feels about you. She told him stories. He taught her to fly. How?" <Wendy> "You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air." <Hook> "Alas, I have no happy thoughts." <Wendy> "That brings you down." <Hook> "How else?" <Michael> "Fairy dust! You need fairy dust!" <everyone> "Michael!"
• <Hook> "What of Pan? Will unhappy thoughts bring him down?" <Wendy> "He has no unhappy thoughts."
• "What if Wendy walks the plank?!"
• "You know . . . I really am terribly sorry about this."
• "The irony! It comes for Hook and gets a story."
• <Smee> "Did you hear her hit the water? 'Cause I didn't." <Hook> "The beast has swallowed her whole!" <Smee> "It looks for more, Captain." <Hook> "Then let's give it more!"
• "To the plank!"
• "Silence, puling spawn!"
• "I'll show you the road to dusty death . . ."
• "Into the rigging with you! Hunt it down! Move, you scabs!"
• "What was that?!"
• <Hook> "So, Peter Pan, this is all your doing?" <Pan> "Aye, James Hook, it's all my doing."
• "Proud and insolent youth . . . prepare to meet thy doom."
• "Leave him! He's mine."
• <Hook yells> "It's Hook! He flies! And he likes it!"
• "I know what you are!" <Pan> "I'm the best there ever was." <Hook> "You're a tragedy." <Pan> "Me? Tragic?" <Hook> "She was leaving you, Pan. Your Wendy was leaving you. Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete. She'd rather grow up than stay with you.
  <Hook> "Let us now take a peep into the future. What's this I see? Tis the fair Wendy. She is in her nursery. The window is shut."
  <Pan> "I'll open it."
  <Hook> "I'm afraid the window's barred."
  <Pan> "I'll call out her name!"
  <Hook> "She can't hear you."
  <Pan> "No! Wendy!"
  <Hook> "She can't see you.
  <Pan> "Wendy!"
  <Hook> "She's forgotten all about you."
  <Pan> "Stop! Please stop it."
  <Hook> "And what is this I see? There is another in your place. He is called husband."
• "You'll die alone and unloved . . . just like me."
• "Silence all! For Wendy's farewell."
• <Wendy> "Tis just a thimble." <Hook> "How like a girl. By all means, my beauty. Give Peter Pan your precious thimble."
• "Pan, you're PINK!"
• "Split my infinitives."
• "No! I have won!" <Pan> "You are old." <Hook> "But I won!" <One of the twins> "Old." <Pan> "And alone." <the other twin> "Alone." <Hook> "I won, I won, I won!" <Wendy> "Done for."<Hook> "Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Ripping, killing, killing, choking, lawyers, dentists . . . " <stupid brats> "Old. Alone. Done for.> "Pus, children's blood, puppy's blood, disease, scabs. Kittens dashed on spikes! No! White death, black death! Any death! A nice cuppa tea!"
• "Old. Alone. Done For." <sob>
• <Pan in Hook's voice> "Brimstone and gall! Silence, you dogs!" <Pan in Pan's voice> "Or I'll cast anchor in you!"

Darling Residence:

George

• "What? I'm coming! What is it?!"
• "You're back. Good. Excellent. Well done."
• "Oh, my angels! My boy. Of course I missed you!"
• <Wendy> "Mother, Father, I'd like to introduce the lost boys. May I keep them?" <George> "Well, I, I . . . I mean, the expense!" <Aunt Millicent> "Think of the neighbors." <George> "Dash the neighbors! And dash the expense!"
• "Welcome to the family, boys."
• "Anyone for a ponyride?!"

Passionada

Casino:

• <Charlie> "You feeling lucky?" <Vicky> "Yes." <Charlie> "Good. Bring me some."
• "Why not let him lose? ___ again, right?"
• "Thanks very much."
• "Thank you."
• <Vicky> "Thanks a lot." <Charlie> "It was a gift. Spend it slowly." <Vicky> "That was a classy move. Are you just a lucky guy, or do you know something that I don't." <Charlie> "I know a little bit about a lot of things." <Vicky> "Well you seem to know a lot about this." <Charlie> "You know, let me give you a life lesson - never take a risk you don't have to. That way there's less chance of losing, see?" <Vicky> "Are you a card counter?" <Charlie> "What?" <Vicky> "You know exactly what I mean . . ." <Charlie> "No, I, I, I have to go. You should stick to the $10 table." <Vicky> "Hey, wait! Stop a second! I just . . ." <Charlie> "I said, 'good night.'"
  <Charlie to valet> "Thank you very much. Thank you."
• <Vicky> "I could be a real asset to you. Who would suspect such an innocent partner?" <Charlie> "Partner?" <Vicky> "Yeah, you could teach me. I'm pretty fast." <Charlie> "I'll bet you are. How old are you?" <Vicky> "Old enough." "And I have a photographic memory." <Charlie> "Really, photographic?" Well, you could be an asset in a place like this." <Vicky> "Yeah?" <Charlie> "Yeah, they never remember where they park the cars. You'd look in one of those little t-shirts. Good night."
  

Shawmut Diner:

• <Charlie watches the waitress leave the table and makes a 'mmm, mmm, mmm' sound> <Danny> "You're getting careless, Charlie." <Charlie> "What, the girl? Whattaya talkin' about? She guessed. She read too many magazines." <Danny> "You know what I'm talking about." <Lois> "Come on, honey. What's the big deal?" <Danny> "What's the big deal? What is the big deal? I'm getting too old for this shit. I invited you here for a vacation." <Lois> "We invited you here for a vacation." <Danny> "You're right, sweetheart. I'm sorry. We invited you here for a vacation. Hell, I'm even letting you use my Jaguar." <Charlie> "Don't think I don't appreciate it. I'll be gone before you know it. This is . . . you're making a fuss over nothing." <Danny> "Nothing?! That's what they told me when I got the pacemaker and it gave me the shock of my life." <Charlie> "You know in the old days . . . you and I walk into a place like that . . ."<Danny> "Charlie, the point, this isn't the old days anymore. This is my backyard. This is where we live, ok?" <Lois> "We're respectable members of the community now." <Danny> "That's right. We play a little and we have fun. And if we win, that's great. And if we don't, it's ok. We don't get greedy." <Charlie>(laughs) "I'm never gonna go there again. Scout's honor, all right?" (holds up two fingers in scout salute) <Danny> "Charlie, you know I love you. That's a given. Hey, we've been through a lot together. Just don't screw up my retirement, all right? (Lois hands him a drink) Thank you, honey." <Charlie> "Salud." <Lois> "Ahh! Don't toast with water! It's bad luck." <Charlie> "I'm not that lucky."

Harbor House Seafood Restaurant:

• <Charlie> "What kind of place you taking me here?" <Lois> "Don't start. It got a great review." <Charlie> "In what? Tacky Restaurants Monthly?" <Lois> "Come on." <Charlie> "Let's get Chinese."<Lois> "No, we're meeting Danny here. Quit your whining. It'll be fun. It's got cabaret . . ." <Charlie> (disgusted sound) <Lois> "You can order those little cocktails with those tiny little umbrellas."
  (Waiter hands Charlie a menu) <Charlie> "Thank you."
• <Lois> "You're right. This place is starting to remind me of 20 Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Come on. Let's get outta here. I'm gonna call Danny." <Charlie> "Shhhh." <Lois> "What?" <Charlie> "I'm staying. You can go if you like.
• <Lois> "I'll bet you can't think of a pickup line I've never heard before." <Charlie> "Oh Lois, you're deeply shallow."
• <Charlie> "That was fantastic! <Celia> "Thank you." <Charlie> "I am just breathless. I've never seen anything like that. You've left me speechless." <Celia> "It doesn't sound like it." <Charlie> "No. I mean, what is someone as talented as you doing in a place like this?" <Celia> "Singing." <Charlie> "Well, it's really unfair to you. You really belong somewhere much better." <Celia> "Thank you I guess." <Charlie> "Umm, look, sorry, it's all coming out wrong. Do you have a moment? I'd love it if you joined me for a drink. This is my friend's wife. It's not what you're thinking." <Celia> "And how do you know what I'm thinking?" <Charlie> "I know a little bit about a lot of things." <Celia> "Congratulations."
• <Lois> "I think that went awfully well. Do you think you'll be needing a ride home?"

Harbor House Seafood Restaurant:

• <Charlie> "She from around here?" <Bartender> "The Azores." <Charlie> "Married?" <Bartender> "Was." <Charlie> "Divorced?" <Bartender> "Uh uh, dead at sea a long time ago. But she's still the most married woman you'll ever meet." <Charlie> "Wish me luck." <Bartender> "You'll need a lot more than that, pal."
• <Charlie> "Mrs. Amonte! Hi. Charles Beck."<Celia> "You're the whistler?" <Charlie> "That's right. You remember."<Celia> "Of course." <Charlie> "I had to come listen to you again. I haven't been able to get your voice out of my head all day. I'm afraid I'm turning into a bit of a groupie. You haven't got a moment to come have a drink, ___? Mmm, maybe you could explain the lyrics?"<Celia> "Thank you. Maybe some other time." <Charlie checks his breath>

Casino:

• <Dealer> "Sir?"<Charlie> "Split 'em. Two's my lucky number." <Dealer> "Hit 11." <Charlie> "Again." <Dealer> "Nineteen. Twelve." <Charlie> "Again." <Dealer> "Fourteen." <Charlie> "Again." <Dealer> "Fifteen." <the other player> "Oooooh, you have bigger balls than I do." <Charlie> "Again." <Dealer> "Twenty. Very nice." <Charlie nods> <Dealer> "Fourteen. Twenty-one, very nice. Dealer breaks." <the other player> "Ooooh, oooh, man you hit it!" <Dealer> "Black out." <the other player> "What's that, like six grand?" <Charlie> "Wouldn't know."

In Casino security office:

• <Charlie> "Since when is it against the law to win at cards?" <Casino guy> "Geez, you are one of a kind, Mr. Beck." <Charlie> "Thank you." <Casino guy> "A real old-school counter. You've been banned everywhere - Sun City, London, Vegas, Hong Kong, Swaziland. I see you did some time here for a scam in Monte Carlo. What'd ya think, you were just gonna walk in here and take all of our money?" <Charlie> "No, I thought I'd win it." <Casino guy> "Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. You got two choices here. One, I send this photo to every one of our casinos in the group, and if you walk in there, even to use a bathroom, you're gonna be thrown in jail for trespassing. Or two, you can work for me and catch cheats just like yourself." <Charlie> "Yeeeaaahhh, I think I'd rather eat my own foot." <Casino guy> "Well, you're running out of choices, Charlie." <Charlie leans over to look at something on the desk and sees stuffed squirrel. Taps it on the nose with his index finger and in a high voice says> "Hello, hello." <Casino guy> "Get him outta here."

Motel room:

• <Charlie looking at the phone book> "Amonte."

Celia's house:

• <Charlie> "Oh, hi, sorry to disturb you." <Vicky> "Hey. How'd you find me?" <Charlie> "You're the girl from the casino." <Vicky> "And you're the card counter." <Charlie> "Yeaaah, no, I'd really rather you stop saying that." <Vicky> "You changed your mind." <Charlie> "No, I, is this the right house for Celia Amonte?" <Vicky> "What? You want my ma?" <Charlie> "Your ma? No, it can't be." <Vicky> "Well, it is." <Charlie> "How old was she when she had you, about 9?" <Vicky> "What am I missing here? How do you know my ma?" <Charlie> "I, uh, I met her - uh, the other night at the restaurant. We got on really well and she told me to pop by the house some time. Is she in?" <Vicky> "My ma, would never do that." <Charlie> "Well she did. Well, all right, she didn't. I saw her sing and I just . . . (lip lick) . . . I wanna ask her out." <Vicky> (laughs) "Are you out of your mind? She's never gonna date a gambler." <Charlie> "It's just a job. We are far more than what we do." <Vicky> "Or far less. However . . . I could be very useful to you in a situation like this." <Charlie> "Yeah, go on." <Vicky> "Teach me to card count, and I'll get you a date with my ma." <Charlie> "You know what? I think I'll take my chances by myself." <Vicky> "Ok, fine. It's your decision. But . . . I can guarantee that you'll never see my ma again. I just mention the word 'gambler' to her . . . you'll see what happens." <Charlie> "You're scary. You know, I know loan sharks more flexible than you." <Vicky> "Thank you. So it's a deal?" <Charlie> "No, we don't have a deal, because I don't do deals with minors."
• (Celia comes home) <Celia> "What the hell are you doing at my house?" <Charlie> "Uhh . . . " <Vicky> "He helped me home. Well, my, my bike, it broke down on the turn for 195. And luckily, Mr. . . . . ?" <Charlie> "Beck. Charlie Beck." <Vicky> "Mr. Beck was there and he stopped by and helped me fix it. Uh, he made sure I got home, well, safe. That was nice, wasn't it? <Celia> "Hmmm, mmm." <Charlie> "It was nothing, just, you know, quite good with my hands. What are you doing here?" <Celia> "I live here." <Charlie> "Really?" <Celia> "Uh huh." <Charlie> "You know, this might not be the right time, but I'm wondering if there's any chance you might ever want to have, uh, (lip lick), you know, a meal or drink or something, with me? I mean, not just you, obviously. You and your sister are both very welcome to come. Just . . . very welcome." <Celia> "Well, thank you for bringing my daughter home, Mr. Beck. Good night." <Charlie> "Daughter? That's unbelievable." <Celia to Vicky> "I need to talk to you." (shuts door in Charlie's face)
• <Charlie> "Smooth. Smooth."

On the street:

• <Vicky> "Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! I have been looking for you all day! What kind of partner are you?" <Charlie> "What the hell are you?" (Vicky removes her helmet and goggles) "Oh, it's you. Of course, who else would it be? Listen, thanks very much for the help with your mum. Unfortunately . . . she's obviously never gonna . . ." <Vicky> "I can make this happen." <Charlie> "I'm sorry?" <Vicky> "I'll tell you where to find her tomorrow night. All alone." <Charlie> "Great, ok. Thanks very much, where?" <Vicky> "Unh uh. It's a very simple deal."

Café:

• <Vicky> "What happens if I miss one?" <Charlie> "You stop playing, you go home. I told you, only take a risk if there's any chance of winning. All right, let's try it one more time. Twos to six score?" <Vicky> "One." <Charlie> "Ten to ace?" <Vicky> "Minus one." <Charlie> "Everything else?" <Vicky> "Nothing." <Charlie> "All right, you've got it. Ready? All right, watch me. Watch the cards. One, two, three, four, five, four, four, five, four, five. Now the higher the number, the higher the chance of a 10 coming up. And we love those 10s. Five's pretty big, so you bet big. All right. And now, your turn. So . . . tell me about your mom. What kind of person does she normally go out with?" <Vicky> "No one." <Charlie> "Good. What is she like? What, uh, what is she comfortable with?" <Vicky> "Fish. We're fish people. We come from generations of fish people. She's comfortable with fish." (Charlie's nodding) <Charlie> "All right, yeah. I can work with that." (blows breath out) "Uh, you got anything else?" <Vicky> "You'll find her at Ontero's. She goes there every Thursday night around five." <Charlie> "Who's Ontero?" (Vicky laughs) <Vicky> "It's a restaurant." <Charlie> "Ahh." <Vicky> "She used to go there with my dad. She keeps doing it." <Charlie> "Well, maybe it's not the right kind of . . ." <Vicky> "No. I thought about it. You could break the monotony. Make her laugh. I'm doing this more for her than I am for you." <Charlie> "You're a very unpredictable girl." <Vicky> "You can't predict what I'll say, but you can predict that I'll say it." (Charlie looks perplexed, along with the rest of the audience)

Ontero's:

• <Host> "Here you are, sir." <Charlie> "Thank you. I'd like a glass of water. Thanks."
• <Charlie> "Oh, my God. It's you." (laughs) "Charlie Beck. Remember, I brought your daughter home and . . .? That is two pretty big coincidences in the same week. It's gotta mean something, don't you think? Unless, of course, you're following me?" (Charlie raises his eyebrow) <Celia> "I was here first." <Charlie> "Yeah. Yep, that's true. So, ehm, what are you doing here?" <Celia> "I come here to be alone." <Charlie> "Sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you. Sorry."
• (waiter brings water) "Ah, here we go. I'd like some . . . uh . . . uh, caldo verde . . . uh, caldinho . . . and some canja. Canja, por favor." <Celia> "You just ordered three types of soup." <Charlie> "Yeah. Yeah, I know. I like soup."
• <Charlie> "So how long you been singing?" <Celia> "For as long as I can remember." <Charlie> "I have to tell you, I am such a fan of that music." <Celia> "Really? I didn't realize there was fado in England." <Charlie> "Well, theres's not a lot to be honest, but uh, I fell in love with it mostly in Portugal, or in the Azores, really." <Celia> "You've been there?" <Charlie> "Yes. I've traveled to a lot of the islands, actually. I went to Sao Miguel, Flores, Pico . . ." <Celia> "Graciosa?" <Charlie> "Of course. Why?" <Celia> "That's where I'm from." <Charlie> "You serious? <Celia> "Uh huh." <Charlie> "I'm not kidding you, I think that Graciosa might be the most beautiful place on the planet." <Celia> "I don't know anyone who's actually traveled there." <Charlie> "In fact, I think Graciosa had the most amazing olive oil I've ever tasted." <Celia> "Which one?" <Charlie> "Uh, I can't remember. But I was only 18." <Celia> "So, you traveled all over the world. May I ask you what brings you here?" <Charlie> "Uh, (lip lick) . . . fish."

On the street:

• <Charlie> "You know you're in serious danger of hurting my feelings? I've come to New Bedford to open a fish processing plant. I don't see what's funny about that." <Celia> "Great timing. The catch has never been this bad. Our fishermen are being strangled by regulations, but of course you would know that." <Charlie> "Oh yeah, I know that. It just makes it a better time to invest. Besides, I've patented a revolutionary new technique for, ehm, filleting fish. Gets rid of all those tiny, you know <strange sound> . . . bones. <Celia at the same time> "Bones?" <Charlie> "Yeah, stick in your throat. I'll make a fortune." <Celia> "You just don't seem like the fishy type." <Charlie> "That's because you haven't seen my gills." (Celia laughs) <Charlie> "Do you ever sail?" <Celia> "Yes, of course. All my life." <Charlie>